If you are reading this on a shared device, there is a fast way out at the bottom.
Someone in your office or your congregation has described a marriage where the papers are a weapon.
And you said nothing about it, because it is not your field and you did not want to give advice you are not qualified to give.
That caution is correct. It is also probably keeping you further back than it needs to.
Where the Line Actually Is
Telling someone an option may exist is information. Telling them they qualify is advice.
You are allowed to say the first thing. You are the person she trusts, and in many cases you are the only person who will ever mention it to her.
Here is a sentence that stays entirely on your side of the line:
“I do not know immigration law, but I know there is sometimes a way for someone in a marriage like this to file on their own. It might be worth asking a lawyer.”
That is not advice. It is a referral, and it is the whole ask.
What the Option Is, in One Paragraph
A person who has been abused by a U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse can sometimes file for immigration status on their own, without that person’s signature or cooperation.
The ordinary process requires the citizen spouse to file on the immigrant’s behalf. The law built a route around the person holding that power, precisely because that power gets used as leverage.
Most survivors have never heard of it. Many have been told the opposite by the person abusing them.
What You Are Likely Already Hearing
You do not need to screen for immigration eligibility. You need to notice which of the things you already hear are worth a sentence.
- He controls the papers, or says he can have her deported, or stopped a process he started
- She stays because of what leaving would do to her status
- She believes she has no options because she is undocumented
- The children have status she does not
- She says she was told she does not qualify for something
That last one matters more than it sounds. The rules changed. An assessment made a few years ago may have been made against a requirement that no longer exists, and it may have come from someone who was not a lawyer.
Three Facts That Change Who You Might Mention This To
She does not have to have been physically harmed. The legal standard reaches conduct beyond physical violence. For a counselor this is the most useful fact on the page, because you are seeing the pattern that other people miss.
She may qualify because of what was done to her child, even if she was never touched. A parent whose child was abused by the citizen spouse can file.
She does not have to still be married. There are windows after a relationship ends.
What Not to Say, and Why It Matters More Here
Your credibility with her is not like a stranger’s. If something you promise turns out not to be true, the cost is not only to her case.
- Do not tell her she qualifies. Nobody knows without reviewing the situation, and neither do we until we do.
- Do not tell her any location is safe from immigration enforcement. No one can promise that. We do not, and we would ask you not to.
- Do not promise she can keep it from him. The legal protections are real and strong. They are not unconditional, and a promise that breaks lands on you as much as on us.
“I do not know, but I know who does” costs you nothing and is always true.
Raising It Without Adding Pressure
Mention it once and let it sit. She may not act on it for a year, and that is not failure. Many survivors need to hear something exists several times before it becomes usable.
Do not make it conditional on her leaving. The option is not a reward for a decision she has not made.
Do not ask her to describe the abuse to you for immigration purposes. She should not have to relive it to be referred, and the firm does not ask her to either.
Ask when it is safe to talk, not just how to reach her. That question alone tells her you understand the situation.
What We Do and What We Decline
We handle self-petitions. That is the filing described here.
We do not handle removal defense. If someone is already in immigration court, that is different work and we will say so rather than take the case.
Being in proceedings does not automatically close off a self-petition, and that distinction is worth a phone call rather than an assumption either way.
The Only Promises We Make
These are the exact words we use, and we do not go beyond them:
Everything you tell us is confidential. Give us the best number to reach you and the best time to call, so we contact you when it is safe for you to talk. This filing happens without him. And the mail does not have to come to your house. Immigration correspondence can be sent to your lawyer’s address, or to another address you give, instead of the one you live at.
Call With a Hypothetical Any Time
No name, no details, no commitment. Clinicians and clergy do this regularly and it is a normal call for us to take.
Law Office of Gilda McDowell. Serving families across West Texas and eastern New Mexico.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233. Available 24 hours a day. If there is danger right now, call them first. We are a law office, not an emergency service.
This page is written for clinicians and clergy. It is general information about how the law works, not legal advice, and reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship.